


Pang

by tronjolras



Series: The Leona K. Yarro Adventures [2]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: (+ light editing), 30 min, Childhood Trauma, Gen, Kidfic, One Shot, Parenthood, Starvation, Tarsus IV, food and memories, workshop piece
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:09:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25701130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tronjolras/pseuds/tronjolras
Summary: Jim has lunch with Leo a week after the adoption.
Series: The Leona K. Yarro Adventures [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1589794
Comments: 9
Kudos: 41





	Pang

**Author's Note:**

> I recently joined a writing workshop and tonight, the theme was food.  
> Content warning for starvation.

There is something that makes his heart ache giving Leo food. He can’t imagine why. He can’t imagine why  _ on purpose _ , but deep down, Jim knows, so Leo knows too. He doesn’t think parenthood should be like this; parents keep secrets. They have to, if only because some people a long time ago decided that the reality adults know should not be the reality of children. And birthday presents. Maybe Leo won’t be able to guess exactly what he’s going to give her for her birthday, but she will know as soon as he’s thought of it. 

But that’s too far away. What Jim has now is a table in the academy mess hall, a bowl of chowder in each hand, a pang in his chest, and a kid who can barely read yet looking at him like she can see right through him. Without saying anything, without blinking, he feels her ask. There is a point, before the convergence of their minds, where they’re still two people, not one, where she knows the answer before he does.

“Why?” she asks as she feels the strange tug in his chest again as he sets down a bowl in front of her, the stupid soup that is made by the barrel and that  _ he doesn’t even like anyway _ .

“I don’t know,” because what else is he gonna say? She may be his daughter now but they don’t know each other that well. He didn’t even tell the people that mattered before her, they all found out in his record, it’s there for anyone to see:  _ survived the 2246 massacre on Tarsus IV _ . 

“Because there was a while, when I was a kid, that I… uh… I didn’t always have enough to eat so, you know, I’m… I’m gonna make sure you get enough,” he says, stupidly, barely even chipping away at the emotion that’s been dammed up for the last twenty-odd years. 

It hadn’t even come up in a long time, but since Leo, it’s just one more thing to add to the pile. Even in the busy mess hall, it’s hard, with the savory warm scent of the chowder in his nose, and the noontime sun streaming in, and everyone coming through the doors with cheeks and nose rosy from the cold, but once Leo starts to prod, he’s back there again. He’s a scrawny thirteen with eyes bad enough to mark the rest of him undesirable, out it the wild plains of Tarsus IV, giving everything edible to the younger ones, clutching his belly all night, rolling with the pain. He’d stopped praying for food once the hunger started keeping him up, he just wanted sleep. 

Leo knows, but she doesn’t know everything, and it’s honestly hard to tell how much of either. He thinks that someday, he’ll tell her. Not that he’s looking forward to it, but because he wants to tell her everything, because he wants  _ her  _ to tell  _ him  _ everything. Parenthood, right?

Leo’s eyes slide off him and she picks up her spoon. One delicate taste and she can declare that even though it’s nothing like her mother’s moqueca (he told her it wouldn’t be, but it’s all fish soup, so he can understand the confusion), it is good enough to keep eating. 

**Author's Note:**

> So this is hardly the sequel y’all are expecting, but don’t worry! The fabled sequel is happening! So far I am 90 pages in, but I want to finish it before I start posting, so it’s gonna be a little while longer, I’m afraid. Hopefully you can enjoy this morsel for now!
> 
> You can yell at me on tumblr @fairwellersmustache  
> fact-checked over on Memory Alpha


End file.
